From the moment this book reached me, I knew I would enjoy it. Just the title was enough for me to make that decision and of course I had read something about it online, but I guess the entire concept of modern romance and dating and how we all get today when it comes to love and relationships was enough for me to get hooked on to this one. Teaming up with Eric Klinenberg, Aziz Ansari provides us the much needed perspective on what relationships are like today and what it takes to actually find the one “true love” in today’s age and time, with several dating apps and people literally at the beck and call of a swipe and click.
“Modern Romance” looks at data, a lot of data, given that Ansari and Klinenberg also conducted surveys in different cities of the world to subreddits whose responses were recorded and analyzed to getting privy to their texts (of course after their permission) to learn as much as they could about modern dating. The book has a lot of information on the psychology of dating and romance over the years and how we view it today, given the onslaught of apps and sites, catering to every single need and whim of what one expects in a partner.
What I found most interesting about the book is the way we use technology and how it has changed the way we think and perceive love and relationships. For instance, Ansari speaks of texting and how that has changed the way our patience levels have transformed and how we want things instantly. In many such examples and anecdotes, keeping the humour intact, Ansari explores the do’s and don’ts of dating. It is not a self-help book at all. Don’t be taken in by the way it sounds or seems. It is in fact a funny take on technology and also mentioning its advantages, so as readers are not disillusioned by it.
I wish there was more on the LGBT dating scene, but as the author mentions at the beginning that there would need to be a different book written for that and I couldn’t agree more. At times I would also see myself in all those stories, given that somewhere down the line we have all gone through the same old emotions as others when we search for anything meaningful online – from fear of rejection to boredom to thinking that more choices and options are good for us to sometimes just wanting that one single person.
“Modern Romance” is a funny and insightful book on how to navigate the terrain of love in the digital space. For instance, all the time Ansari emphasizes on humour and good it is to break the ice at most times. Aziz with his insights will make you reconsider and think of online dating differently for sure and at the same time make you see how investing, both in terms of time and effort might actually lead to something amazing between two people.